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So you met someone on an online dating site and you are head over heels about this person. Or you got lucky and met someone you were interested in the checkout line at the supermarket (does that really ever happen?).
Now what?
If you want to try to pursue a relationship with this person sooner or later you’re going to have to go out with them on a first date.
“Where to go, what to do?” is probably the first thing that comes to your mind.
Over the past 15 years I have been a member of almost every single online dating site known to man. I would like to offer 10 first date suggestions for your consideration. Prior to listing my suggestions, I would like to list a couple of “first date don’ts”. These suggestions are just that: suggestions. What works for me may not necessarily work for you, but I will do my best to explain the reasons and/or science as to why I am suggesting “try not to do this/go there on your first date” as best I can. Ready?
1. Don’t go out for coffee on your first date.
Chances are one or both of you are somewhat nervous about going out on your first date. Add caffeine into the mix and that makes an already somewhat tense situation, even tenser. Throw in the fact that you have to sit across the table and keep up conversation for the length of the date….it could be a recipe for disaster. As a female I would consider myself to be fairly confident and a pretty good conversationalist. Several guys whom I have dated in the past were not so great conversationalists and tended to be pretty nervous on the first date, so much so that they really didn’t make that great of a first impression. When we met at the coffee shop, I noticed that after a few minutes they started to act even more nervous and they weren’t acting like their usual confident selves.
2. Don’t go out for alcoholic drinks on your first date
I know many people out there are going to disagree with this one…..but try to save the “drinking date” to the second or third date. Use the first date to get a good look at the other person and see if they are what you are looking for in a partner. Alcohol only clouds your judgment. Yes you may be nervous, yes alcohol may loosen you up a bit….but you’re walking a fine line between creating a less stressful situation and totally screwing up the date by saying or doing something you normally wouldn’t.
3. No sex on the first date.
Unless you specifically signed up for “Adult Friend Finder”, and that’s your only intention, resist the urges and keep it in your pants. If you’re looking for a relationship and have found someone whom you are really compatible with, nothing can screw it up more than going to bed with that person on the first date. I’m not the only “bad guy” who is giving you this advice….many psychologist and dating and relationship experts feel the same way about sex on the first date.
4. Don’t go to the movies on your first date.
I can’t think of anything else out there that would kill a conversation more than going to a movie.
Ok, 4 small caveats. Again, take my advice with a grain of salt….those 3 suggestions are generally considered to be “best practices” when it comes to a first date. What works for one, may not work for all.
1. Walk on the beach/park or in a busy area where other people congregrate.
2. Plane ride. Most local (smaller) airports offer 1 hour flights around your city for about $99.00.
3. Charity or community service oriented event.
4. Cooking dinner at your/their place.
5. Dinner date (with a twist). Take them to an interactive restaurant that either the chef performs a show or you have to cook your own food on your table…something like a Shabu-Shabu restaurant.
6. If you’re both physically fit, go for a run together.
7. Museum.
8. Book reading at your local book store.
9. Boat ride (if you live near the water)
10. Bowling alley.
What about you guys? Do you have any surefire first date suggestions?